I know I have been very quiet on here lately, my mental health has become almost unbearable. Sorry.
Still being unemployed, I have a lot of time to think. Think about things. Think about me. I realise I am too caring and I open my heart up so much that I become vulnerable to dejection. In 6th form, my friends always knew me as the girl who hates everyone, but that was far from the truth; I loved my friends! I say ‘loved’ because we’re all slightly different people now. The vast majority of my pals have recently graduated from uni. I have to admit, I admire them and am slightly jealous – they have so much to show in their lives but I dont. It’s my fault, I chose to not go to uni. I’m my own worst enemy.
Aforementioned, my mental health has become a nightmare. I have been slipping. Good news is that I’m waiting for a mental health assessment, so, hopefully, soon I will find out what is happening in my brain. I’m a little scared but relieved – I’ve battled this for a number of years so am glad to find answers.
In terms of support, my mum has been absolutely wonderful! I cant thank her enough. She has been there for me in every way imaginable and when it’s my turn to do the same, I hope she knows I will do my very best.
Currently, I am thinking of making a ‘comfort box’ for times like these, when I’m getting bad. The idea is to put in items such as my favourite CD, colouring books, DVDs, favourite sweets etc to help calm and relax me. I love the idea. I’ll let you know how it goes.