Happy First Year #AMDGMAAF (page 9) – w/ The Goddess of Dawn Story

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Happy First Year to AURORA’s EPIC (yes, I said epic) album “All My Demons Greeting Me As A Friend”

The word “epic” applies to that “pertaining to a long poetic composition, usually centered upon a hero, in which a series of great achievements or events is narrated in elevated style” and I personally feel that way about AMDGMAAF – So, who is the hero of this story? AURORA and you, dear reader. Discovery, challenges, dreams, pathos, achievements, all related in a remarkable way with remarkable wisdom and skill for a person of such young age as Aurora Aksnes (some of these songs were written before she was even a teenager!).

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“LET LOVE CONQUER YOUR MIND”

Collecting and collating AURORA photos is one of my favorite pastimes, been so for about a solid year ( I “discovered” AURORA in March 2016 the day of her US TV debut).

I began my…

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Latest Endeavours

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a very awkward person, and I detest meeting new people. I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember. When it comes to being socially active, I have the social skills of a wet wipe, so the thought of physically meeting someone new scares the shit out of me.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been feeling quite down about myself and my social situation. I’ve had one real friend since 6th form who I still speak to, but as time goes on, I realise we’re growing into 2 very different people – so much so that I struggle to find a topic of conversation anymore. This saddens me alot because I have no other proper friends apart from this person.

So these past few days, I’ve been asking myself ‘how can I make new friends without actually meeting new people?’ and the answer to that is to find a penpal. Yesterday, I signed myself up to a website where you can find people looking for penpals and I’ve already had a positive response. I’ve received emails from around 7 different people, asking if I want to exchange letters with them! Although the idea of introducing myself to a complete stranger is still daunting, I’ve found it a lot easier than if I was to approach these people in person. It will be much easier when we get to know each other more and exchange more and more letters, but for now, I’m concentrating on not making a complete arse of myself by saying something stupid. I know it’s early days but I’m hoping to find some good friends.

If you’re in a similar situation to me and find yourself lacking in the friend department, I would recommend trying a penpal because you can go at your own pace, and you can talk in the comfort of your own home.

I might update you guys in a couple of months if I get anywhere with this endeavour. Let’s see what happens.

Peace and love to you all ✌💚

Meadowlark.

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Source: Meadowlark’s Official Facebook

Meadowlark are an enchanting duo from the UK and I’ve been a fan of them for a couple of years. I first heard of singer Kate from her Youtube channel, who then shared the news on social media that she had paired with Dan to create this wonderful partnership (they originally had a 3rd person, who later decided to part ways). The pair have been producing awe-inspiring sounds ever since.

They have a main website, which is quite simplistic but allows you to navigate to all the desired areas, particularly links to their social medias.

What I like about the band are the angelic melodies which are sung in harmony with either piano or guitar or both. I also like the fact that there are lots of percussive sounds in the songs – not just your bog standard kick and snare drum. The songs are all well constructed, with the majority of them beginning with a nice riff in the introduction, quiet chords in the verses and then a mixture of both in the choruses to create a nice contrast of volume and depth.

Meadowlark have released 4 EP’s (the latest one Nocturnes was only released earlier this week), and numerous singles (1 of which is a cover of Sugarbabes – About you now) I’ve listed all of the songs I could find below and highlighted my favourites:

  1. Eyes Wide
  2. Family Tree
  3. Forlorn
  4. I’ve Got You
  5. Sail Away
  6. Fly
  7. Fire
  8. Paraffin
  9. Satellite
  10. Quicksand
  11. Headlights
  12. About you now

If you’re feeling a bit stressed and need to wind down, I highly recommend this band! Check out their website and social media, and take a listen to their stuff – you wont be disappointed!

Peace and love to you all ✌💚

Worry ring story.

The other week, my mum and I were discussing my intentions of focusing on the psychological side of my mental health. I mentioned that I wanted a fidget cube, because I get very fidgety when it comes to social situations, but then she suggested that I buy a worry ring. I had never heard of one before so I had a look on the internet and researched them. Basically, for those who dont know, it’s a ring/ with at least 1 additional band around it that moves/spins. They’re also known as a spinner ring. 

They vary in prices but the best ones I could find were from Ebay (I found a really nice one,) which leads me to my story about the hassle I had to go through in order to actually receive this ring. A couple of weeks ago, I received an email from Ebay to say that my account had some unauthorised use on it so my account was frozen. I did the normal security procedure of changing my password blah blah blah, but in order to confirm this change, Ebay were going to text me a verification code. Now this is where the trouble came – I created this account about 8 years ago, for somebody else, so I used both their phone number and my old mobile number. Bizarrely, there isn’t an option (not to my knowledge anyway) of changing telephone numbers on your account so I was in a bit of a stick wicket.

I called Ebay to ask if there was anything I could do and the lady on the phone replied that they had no authorisation to change phone numbers so I’d have to create another account. At the time I thought that it was so much hassle to go through just to buy a ring, but nonetheless, I did it – and I’m so glad.

So after making a new account (with totally new email address) I purchased a ring, different to the one I saw previously. It cost £21.99 and I received it the next day. Since then, I haven’t taken it off! Here’s what it looks like:


It’s a 925 sterling silver ring and fits so snug, I forget I’m wearing it sometimes. The 3 bands in the middle (gold, silver and copper effect) spin completely around. I find that the time I use it most often is when I’m driving, or sat in a waiting room somewhere, which is where I get very anxious. The bands aren’t too loose but aren’t too tight either  and there’s something fairly satifying about spinning them. It’s not too bulky so it doesn’t catch on anything and it has a fairly decent weight to it.

I would definitely recommend this to anyone that likes to fidget with their hands because it’s so pleasing to touch. I’m very glad that I bought it, even after all the palaver beforehand! 😂 

Peace and love to you all ✌💚

How I prepare to face the world.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I have set the goal of leaving the house at least once everyday in order to help improve my mental health. I am aware that there are numerous people in the same position as me, but I thought perhaps some of you don’t know how to prepare yourselves for the ‘outside world,’ so I’m going to run through my thought processes and preparations that help me walk out the front door each time. Some may be helpful, but some may not. You all have your own comforts, so just experiment and see what you find comfortable.

#1 – Planning

This usually only applies if I’m intending to go out for a longer period of time, or to a place in which I’m more likely to feel vulnerable, for example, shopping etc. I like to plan where I’m going and what time I’m going to be there (time is a major trigger for me). I make these plans in advance; sometimes days, sometimes only hours. Occasionally, however, I still need that reassurance and confirmation, just to be sure that I don’t have to change my route or time frame. The main reasons I like to plan my journey is because a) I like to know where I’m going so I can organise myself i.e will I need bags? Do I need to withdraw cash? etc. and b) it’s easier to estimate the time it will take to go to each place. I’ve always planned my journeys for as long as I can remember and I feel it really helps me.

#2 – Going out with somebody with me.

I’m currently at that stage of my anxiety where I can do the little trips on my own, which is great progress considering that around 6 months ago, I wouldn’t even leave my flat to pick up the post from the landing downstairs. When I’m intending to go somewhere that requires a bit more of my time, however, I need someone to be there with me to help reassure me that I’m ok. This is usually my mum or best friend. I find that this helps because they make my mind preoccupied enough to not think about where I am and how exposed I am to other people and surroundings.  I feel they do me a favour so I also always offer to buy a coffee or some lunch (which leads me to number 3)

#3 – Stopping for a coffee or a spot of lunch.

This ties in with number 1, in the way that I like to include a stop at the coffee shop in my plan. I like to sit and people watch with whoever it is I’m with because I find it relaxing. I like how diverse people are and if you like writing stories, it’s a good way to develop characters to use. I dont often have lunch out because I like to go out in the early mornings, so it’s generally just a coffee, which allows me to compose myself and think through what’s next on the agenda.

#4 – Take some sort of distraction.

This is quite self explanatory. I always take headphones out with me, because if I’m too overwhelmed, I will listen to music to calm me down and take my mind off why I’m overwhelmed. I try to listen to upbeat songs rather than slow songs because I feel that I get more motivated if the beat is something you can head bob to or tap your feet to. I’ve also ordered a fidget cube and a worry ring to help because I get very fidgety when I’m out. They haven’t arrived yet but when they do, I’ll probably review them on here. Until then, I’ve been taking an elastic band to wear around my wrist to fiddle with.

#5 – Just breathe

This last one is quite imperative because it’s one of the last things I do before I leave the house. I sit in a relaxed state and take some deep breaths in order to calm myself and remind myself that I will be alright. In through the nose, out through the mouth. This, similar to number 3, allows me to compose myself. It helps a lot because I can take a step back and not let myself get too defeated. I would recommend making a habit of taking 30 seconds or a minute to take some deep breaths and then open the front door.

So these are 5 main things I do to prepare to face the world. I hope you can take something from this and make that huge step. Just remember to breathe and there’s no rush; do it when you’re ready.

Peace and love to you all ✌💚

Look good, feel good.

During my appointment with the doctor yesterday, it was pointed out to me that medication isn’t always the answer to feeling better. Yes, it helps take the edge off, and controls chemical levels, but it is impossible for a simple pill, capsule or tablet to change your thought process. Having been prescribed near enough the maximum dosage possible, it was time to focus on the actual reasoning behind the way I feel – the psychology of it all.

So what is it that makes me cripple with anxiety? What is it that makes the voice in my brain tell me I’m worthless? There’s only one real answer to all of this – body confidence.

Anyone who knows me, or knew me while growing up, is well aware that I’m not considered a ‘normal, feminine girl’ (I mean what even is normal, right?) I’ve had issues with my weight from a very early age, I don’t wear make up (not that that makes you feminine) and I’ve never really had an interest in boys; it was always school, 6th form, work etc.

I was raised in a household where the term “you are what you are” was thrown around virtually every day. Little did I know that I would be given the look of disappointment anytime I tried to alter my body image. To anyone who thinks I’m exaggerating, I was scolded the first time I shaved my legs; that’s how ridiculous it was, nevertheless, I kept doing it anyway!

Returning to the main crux of this post, I have decided that in order to feel good about myself, I need to look good, and to do this I have set myself 3 goals to aim for:

  1. Start a strict diet and lose weight.
  2. Take care of my hair, skin and nails.
  3. Leave the house at least once a day – even if it’s only to take the bins out.

I have already made a start on these. The biggest achievement for me so far is the fact I have left the house everyday this week, and it’s already had an impact on my mood. I can feel a high episode coming and it feels good! In regards to number 2 on my list, I have began moisturising every morning and even had my eyebrows waxed for the first time on Wednesday (I usually pluck them. It doesn’t sound like a big deal but it makes a difference)

I bought this picture as a motivator for me to see every morning 😁

I know this is going to be a long process, but the daunting thought of how long it’s going to take is being outweighed by the thought of how happy I’ll be when I get to the body I’m comfortable in.

Peace and love to you all ✌💚

Fickle Friends

F i c k l e Friends Source: @ficklefriends

One band that I really have been into this month is Fickle Friends. They are a 5 piece band from Brighton, UK and I fell in love with their stuff (they’re kind of Indie Pop ish) pretty much as soon as I heard it. I discovered them early last year from a Youtube channel called ‘The Hyve’ so looked at their own channel and loved all the songs I heard!

Check out their main website to find the links to all of the songs they have on Youtube.

What I like about this band is the heavy influence of synths and the 80’s feel (I keep telling my mum that I was born in the wrong era haha) . They also have an up beat style to them with sweet little guitar riffs, great use of the open high-hat and interesting bass lines.

I think they have a perfect balance between the pitches of the instrument ensemble and the pitches of the vocals – particular the lead singer.

Fickle Friends have released 1 EP called ‘Velvet’ and 8 singles, 1 of which is on the EP. Below is a list of all the songs I could find, and I’ve highlighted my favourites:

  1. Swim (2014)
  2. Play (2014)
  3. For You (2014)
  4. Could Be Wrong (2015)
  5. Say No More (2015)
  6. Velvet (2015)
  7. Paris (2015)
  8. Shake Her (2015)
  9. Swim (2016)*
  10. Cry Baby (2016)
  11. Brooklyn (2016)

*This song was re-released, along with an official video.

So take a moment to check out Fickle Friends on their TwitterFacebookYoutubeSpotify or Instagram!

Peace and love ✌💚